Love's Door
(cont'd) a short story written for our writers group anthology: Passages
Passages is a collection of short stories loosely based on the theme: When one door closes, another opens. What door opens for which person makes all the difference.
I write the Mackenzie Wilder/Classic Boat mystery series. The protagonist is Dr. Mackenzie Wilder, a widowed small-town physician with a passion for old boats and a knack for fixing both boats and her patients.
The following story (presented in eight installments) is about Mackenzie’s cousin, Lara, who feels she has been unfairly compared to Mackenzie (Mackie) her whole life.
Installment 4
Love’s Door
"So, you're breaking up with Rodger?”
Lara pulled the silk top over her head, fluffing it at her waist.
“Bev, it’s like I told you the other day.” She reached under her bed for her strapped platforms and glared at her mother as she pulled them on. “It’s exactly like I told you.”
Bev sighed. “I was hoping you weren’t serious.”
“I was. I am. The detective confirmed that Rodger and Camille are having an affair. If you can call lunch hour quickies an affair.” Lara stamped the shoe onto her foot and immediately grabbed her ankle, swearing under her breath. "Bev, he's been unfaithful to me! Do you really think I could go through with a wedding after this?"
"Are you sure things can't be patched up? Or are they really in love?"
"I don't know... and NO, things can't be patched up. What difference does it make if they're in love or not?"
'Well, if they're in love, maybe it's the right thing for you to break it off."
Lara stared at her mother. "I see. You want me to be the bigger person. To give in gracefully. Just like with Chieftain. Like when Daddy left! Well, sorry if I’m not Mackie. I can’t be like that anymore!”
“Lara, that’s not fair!”
Lara raised her hands. “All right, all right. I was an infant, and I never really missed Daddy. You were the one who got hurt. But you gave in—without a fight as far as I could ever tell.” Lara’s voice softened, and her expression took on some pity.
Bev sighed. “I can see where it might have seemed that way. I did fight, plenty, but I didn’t want that to be all you heard about growing up. Especially after I realized what a lost cause it had all been. So I took that high road you talk about. I put it behind me and tried to teach you to be strong, to recognize you could handle things others couldn’t. To hold up a standard for yourself and still be compassionate. I wanted you to have character. I didn’t mean for you to feel as if you were sacrificing yourself for others—for Rachel. I didn’t want you to sacrifice at all!” Bev stopped, breathless, staring at her daughter. “I was almost as glad as you were when Chieftain slipped his leash and came home.”
Bev’s struggle for words ended. "And look how everything turned out," she chirped. "We got Leonard."
"You mean you got Leonard."
"Lara, be nice,” Bev scolded gently. This was an old argument, comfortable as an old shoe and not threatening at all. “Leonard cares about you. Look how he adopted you even when I said he didn’t have to."
Lara stared at her mother and smothered a snort. "Look, I’m glad you found Leonard. I really am. But Leonard basically loves me because he loves you. If it weren't for that, he and I would never know each other."
Bev demurred to that. "But he has provided for you."
"Yes, and I’m grateful, but this isn’t about Dad or Leonard. This is about me. I’ve taken about all the betrayal I am going to take. Like I said. I’m not Mackie. Things are different."
***
Lara woke up her computer and started rummaging on her desk for pen and paper. One thing Leonard had done for Lara: All those stories about him and his computer hacker friends back in the day. When he'd seen how interested she was and how the stories impressed her, he'd told her about every hack, every break-in, every security breach they'd ever made before he turned to working cyber security for the government. Leonard had been delighted to help Lara learn, even more so when she'd asked him to help her create her own high-end computer build.
It came in handy when she wanted to learn more about the beguiling young man she’d spotted at her local coffee shop, flirting with the tiny-waisted dark-haired barista who worked the afternoon shift. His hair was sandy and curly, with a lock that draped his forehead. His grin was little-boy charming and he loved telling stories to all the other customers. He didn’t even get angry when the barista misspelled his name on his cup. Instead he teased her and corrected the spelling by writing his name out on the big order board for all the shop to see.
At the time it was cute, and useful. It made it that much easier to track down his story. He was active on social media and he friended easily. He liked talking about what he did for fun, and about his job, and where he hung out. Basically, he provided enough information to make it worth her while to learn more. And then he provided that, too.
Making sure she met Rodger was easy. So was making sure he never knew. She didn’t want to embarrass either of them, and it was all quite innocent. Everything should have worked out fine. She’d thought it had. But, it hadn’t, and now she would use the same skills to undo it all.
"Thanks, Leonard," she murmured as she set about lining up her tasks by password and priority. A determined, mirthless grin grew across her jaw with each new keystroke.
Having compiled her strategy, Lara heaved a sigh and slumped in her chair as she looked over the screen. What was the exact way to go about this? She didn’t want to show her hand to anyone. She certainly didn’t want to end up in jail!
She stood up and stretched. Never spend too many hours in a row at a computer. Bending over to stretch her back, she reached her fingertips to the floor, then lowered her palms to cup the boards.
Bev’s words still bugged her.
If they’re in love, maybe it’s the right thing for you to break it off. “No, Mother,” she said aloud as she straightened up. “If I break it off, it won’t be because it’s the ‘right thing’! I am tired of doing for others. This is for me!”
Lara’d lived her whole life doing the right thing. A regular Miss Goody Two-shoes. If she hadn’t known herself for what she was—and if she hadn’t known the real Miss Goody Two-shoes was her cousin Mackie—Lara might have bought into the idea that was forever her role. But it wasn’t, and she knew it. She’d started figuring that out the day she gave Chieftain away.
Making the decision to let Rachel have Chieftain had been exhausting for eleven-year-old Lara. Rachel had just lost her father to her parents’ divorce, and Lara was following Bev’s admonishments to make her new friend feel better. The two girls spent day after day together, at school and at each other’s homes. Rachel had a swimming pool at her apartment complex, which excited Lara, and Lara had Chieftain. Rachel had never had a dog, and she latched onto the friendly golden retriever pup in short, needy order. Sometimes it made Lara uncomfortable, but she tolerated it because at night, Chieftain was hers.
Then came the day Rachel asked to take Chieftain home to ‘visit’. Certain of the answer, Lara told her, “I’ll have to ask Mom.” As soon as the words were out of Lara’s mouth, Rachel started wheedling, asking, finally begging Bev to say yes. Before Lara could process it, Bev had caved. Astonished, Lara complied, but she skipped supper and went to bed early. It was her first experience of her stomach acting up from her emotions, and it kept her up the whole night. Even Bev commented on the bags under Lara’s eyes the next day, but she never connected the dots on why.
One visit grew to two, three, until Chieftain was regularly spending half his days at Rachel’s. The final blow came when Rachel’s mother approached Bev about Chieftain coming to live with them. “She loves him so much! It’s been such a help, what with her father gone. She’s a changed girl! And, after all, Lara hasn’t minded letting go of him to come visit. Maybe she’s outgrown him.” Young Lara felt left with no choice.
Lara heard all the stories about ‘Rachel’s new dog’ and how much fun they were having. Then Rachel started talking about changing his name, sneering when she said her mother wouldn’t let her because it would confuse him. Then she came home one day without him, telling her mother he got off the leash and ran away.
She got tired of him. I knew it, I knew it! I knew she wasn’t right for Chieftain. She never loved him. She just wanted something I had. Because I was happier than her.
Lara ran out the back door when she heard and sank down on the back steps, trembling so badly her knees couldn’t hold her. She hoped, oh how she hoped, this meant Chieftain was coming home! He’d run away! He’d find his way to her. He knew his way home! It might take a few days, but he’d be home.
Bev came outside, held out her arms, and enveloped her daughter.
“Lara, I am so sorry. I didn’t know what kind of people they were. Honey -”
“Don’t worry, Mom, Chieftain’s coming home. I can feel it. If he’s off leash, this is where he’ll come!”
“Oh honey, I wouldn’t be sure. We can hope, but you’ve got to be prepared in case it doesn’t happen. “
“Mama, it will. It will. Chieftain will come home!”
A week later, still no sign of Chieftain. Rachel had taken to taunting Lara about waiting for the dog that wouldn’t come. Lara’s faith was flagging, but the stubborn knot in her stomach kept her thinking: Chieftain loved her; he would come home.
At ten o’clock on Tuesday night, a faint barking caught Lara’s ears as she lay in bed. She scrambled out from under the covers and raced downstairs. “Mom! Mama! It’s Chieftain! Chieftain!”
Bev trailed her down the stairs and out the door. There on the steps, wiggling from one haunch to the other, sat beautiful, wonderful, loyal Chieftain.
Two hours later, the girl and her dog fell asleep on Lara’s bed. Lara lay on her side, one arm thrown over her Chieftain’s neck. Chieftain lay stretched out in front of her, his head on his special pillow. Her stomach was the quietest it had been in weeks, and she slept the deep sleep of a girl who had everything in the world she needed.