Flashing Back...
...if only I could remember how I got here
Ah, yes, how I got here,
It came about one day as I was sharing my work in progress (wip) with my group. In a book about a road trip with five women (sisters, at that!), there’s always personalities and history. So, naturally, flashbacks became part of the story. And then came the critique…
Critiquer 1: This scene is too long for a flashback.
me: but I want to show, not tell.
Critiquer 2: It’s too confusing. Who’s Peter? He’s not in the car.
me: it’s a flashback to Frankie’s past.
Critiquer 2 (sniff): Oh. I wasn’t sure.
Critiquer 3: Well, I couldn’t tell. Shouldn’t you be using ‘she had said’?
me: I could, but…
Critiquer 4: You should either cut this part—-it’s not really important—
me in my head: (yes, it is)
Critiquer 4: Then it should be part of the book, not backstory
me: But, it doesn’t happen on this road trip. It’s in the past.
Critiquer 4: Then you should make it shorter, summarize it…
me in my head: (no)
Critiquer 4: Or you could drop it in in sections…
me in my head: (no)
Critiquer 4: Or just leave it out.
me: AAAAUGH!!
In the meeting, I only won because we have a value that it is the writer’s final decision what they do with our critique advice. The only I advice I took was to tell the story better. Because I, too, have a value: if using the flashback makes your story more vivid and simpler to tell, then, by all means, use it.
However, my colleagues made some good points. Flashbacks have to be done well, to earn their place in your story. There’s some criteria involved, and there’s techniques to use that make your flashback coherent, understandable, and easy to read.
Let’s deal with the criteria first. Why do you want to use a flashback (or backstory) at this point in your tale? Flashbacks should feel natural, arising out of the current scene either in a character’s mind or interactions, triggered by events or emotions. They can often be the result of someone posing a question.
Flashbacks should
be used to clarify or illuminate something in your book
be relevant to the immediate scene
not be overly long, unless it is clearly backstory and essential to be done this way
Remember, every word in your writing should do a job. Sometimes it is only to ease the flow of your writing, but every word is purposeful. So, flashbacks should not distract from the forward movement of the current scene. Not to say it can’t make a pause, but what it says should have an effect on the story. That is to say, we don’t need your protagonist to suddenly go back and reminisce on what she had at the restaurant in Soho last week. UNLESS it illuminates the current scene.
Charlie mentioned Corona’s, a little dive in Soho. I’d been there before. The last time had been humiliating. I’d ordered what I thought was a safe, peanut-free dish for my friend. When it came, she smiled and we both dug in.
Suddenly, Larissa gasped. Her face went chalky as she clutched her throat.
“Larissa! What?” I jumped up. “You having a reaction?”
She nodded once and flailed an arm in the direction of her purse. I grabbed it and pawed through the bits and pieces it contained. EpiPen. I passed it to her, my hands shaking. I’d never injected anyone—surely she knew better how to do it than I did.
Thank god, that was true.
“But how? That dish doesn’t have peanuts in it. No nuts at all! I made sure when I chose it!”
Larissa shook her head, sitting back and trying to ease her breathing. “I’ve gotten more sensitive. Now, even if other peanut dishes are even prepared in a kitchen, any dish from it might set me off. Thanks, Holly.”
“Still, I am so sorry. Do we need to leave?”
“Only if we want to eat,” Larissa said grimly.
I hadn’t thought about it at the time, but it came to me now. Corona’s must have changed their menu—although the listings didn’t reflect any change. But Taylor, the chef I’d presumed was in charge and at work that evening, was himself allergic to nuts. There shouldn’t have been peanuts even on the premises. Where was Taylor?
“They changed chefs!” I cried out.”
In the above scene, written solely for the purposes of this post, Holly is distracted by a friend’s comment during a conversation. She’s thinking as he talks, and it leads her to a conclusion she’s missed before. That alone moves the story forward. But when she shares her anecdote and her conclusion—now their conversation has more info to work towards solving the crime.
Telling the reader the incident in flashback was more active and effective than merely having Holly say, “Hey, I just remembered. Something happened last week that makes me think Corona’s may have a new chef.” The flashback makes the incident real and gives a little insight into Holly as being humble enough when making an honest mistake, caring enough to consider her friend’s health in advance, and—like most of us in scary moments, a little slow on the uptake when making important connections about events.
Technique
So, what about technique. How do you get into a flashback, and how do you signal readers that it’s over? This actually seems to be the thorniest part of the problem for most writers.
You can set flashbacks off with either phrasing or formatting.
Formatting involves leaving an extra linespace (with a # denoting it as intentional), using a divider, or extra two-sided indentation—using a physical format to set the incident off. Then you write the scene and set it off again at the end, returning your story to its original settings. That can work, but it can also be disruptive, especially if make frequent use of flashbacks (more on that later).
Phrasing is more like what I did in the above example. It can be as simple as “I remembered…”, but it’s even better if the shift is more organic than that. The idea is to indicate that narrator or protagonist is calling back to the past and narrating something from that time, not the present.
The next move is to change verb tense. And this is where a lot of writers have trouble. To quote Mary Poppins, “It’s all quite simple, really.”
After your segue or whatever cue to introduce the flashback, begin using past perfect (pluperfect) tense. These are what I think of informally as “the I had’s”.
“I had been there…” “I’d ordered…” “Larissa had never eaten there ‘til last week….”
Using this form of the verb sets the scene clearly in a past that is further back than your present scene. But reading “the I had’s” can be clunky, confusing, and tiresome. Writing them is, too. So, the solution is to switch back to simple past tense for (almost all) the remainder of the scene.
“She smiled.” “We both dug in.” “I said…”
Just before the scene closes, you remind the reader this has been in the past by returning to the pluperfect for the last few sentences.
“We’d finished the evening by finding an organic establishment that specialized in what they called ‘no-allergy food’ and gone our separate ways.”
In my example, I actually cued the change in just a few words, sliding from past to present with minimal fuss.
“I hadn’t thought about it at the time, but it came to me now. Corona’s must have changed their menu—although the listings didn’t reflect any change.“
Recap
Flashbacks, or backstory, should only be used when they are necessary to advance your story. If you are resorting to flashbacks too frequently, consider writing them as actual parts of the novel as it occurs. The same if you find your flashbacks are as long as your chapters. Truthfully, some novels are designed around the flashbacks of various characters. Done this way, they serve to insert and amplify their point of view. But that is a conscious choice, requiring thoughtful decision-making and planning. And resist the temptation to write the entire novel as a flashback; it’s okay to introduce it as such, but then use simple past tense. It is now a history of past events and does not need to be further complicated with extra verbiage. Again, this is a design choice
Introducing your flashback can be done either by formatting to set off your passage in some way, or by phrases of introduction. Once writing the scene, begin with past perfect (pluperfect) tense for a few lines, then move to simple past for the bulk of the passage. Return to past perfect near the end to close the flashback out. Return to using present and simple past when you move into the present scene. These are cues most readers pick up on subconsciously.
Flashbacks are handy tools, but they have to be done well. Otherwise readers tire of them, or get confused, and— what happens? They Put Down Your Book. Never do something that results in the reader abandoning you. Make sure you need to use the flashback or backstory. If you do, if it advances your tale, then use it. Do it well. And feel good about yourself.